Word Association
by RealityCheckBounced89
Summary: In which James fails at the psychoanalysis game, and even Peter has to admit that he’s hopeless.


Word Association

Summary: In which James fails at the psychoanalysis game, and even Peter has to admit that he's hopeless.

Rating: K+, mostly because of some abuse of James.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I don't own the game, I don't even own the computer I'm typing this on. Sad, isn't it?

* * *

"Okay James. We had a meeting, and as a group decided that there is something wrong with you," Sirius said calmly, sipping pumpkin juice as if everything was perfectly normal. 

"You had a meeting? You can't have a meeting without me!" James cried, angered that the three other Marauders were suddenly ganging up on him.

"Well if it makes you feel any better, the first thing we did was decide if we should get you for the meeting too, and I said we should... but I was outvoted," Peter said, hanging his head in shame.

"Prongs, we're doing this for your own good. Right Moony?" Sirius looked to the last Marauder, who had so far stayed silent, for support.

"How is tying me to a chair for my own good!" James shouted, attempting to break free from the thick ropes that bound him to the desk chair in the 7th year boys dormitory. Unfortunately, Sirius had been the one to cast the charm that had tied James up, and it was clear he wasn't getting out of there anytime soon.

"Shhh. Just listen. We all think that your obsession with Lily has gotten completely out of hand, and besides that, it's driving us crazy."

"Right," said Remus, speaking for the first time. "So there's this game sort of thing that I read about, and it's supposed to be very helpful in revealing your subconscious, and how you really think and feel."

"What?"

Remus sighed. "All we're going to do is say a word, and you have to say the first thing that comes into your head. Okay?"

"If I do this will you let me go?"

"Course we will, mate," Sirius said.

"Fine, can we just get this over with? I have to be somewhere soon."

"Okay, Remus, you start."

"Alright, we'll start with easy stuff: dog."

"Sirius." James noticed Peter writing his response on a piece of parchment.

"Moon."

"Remus."

"Girl."

"Lily."

"Flower."

"Lily."

"Love."

"Lily."

"Green."

"Lily."

"School."

"Lily."

"Sugar quills," Remus continued, clearly growing exasperated.

"Lily." In response to the strange looks he was getting, he said, "What? It's her favorite candy."

"Crossword puzzles" Sirius said triumphantly. He was sure there was no way even James could connect that to...

"Lily."

"James, how in the world do crossword puzzles remind you of Lily?" Sirius cried in frustration.

"Well you see, last week she let me sit next to her in the library, and she pulled out a crossword puzzle and started to work on it."

"James, this obsession is unhealthy! It needs to stop!"

"No, you see..."

"No, we get it, you really like her..."

"Yes, and..."

"But I really think this has gone on long enough," Sirius finished. James was still unable to get a word in edgewise.

"James, I have to say, there isn't anything in the book about this kind of single-mindedness." Remus looked puzzled, and flipped through his book, searching for an answer.

"Who cares, I played your stupid game, now let me go, I'm gonna be late!"

"I don't think we can do that. What do you think Pete?"

"I'm sorry James, but I have to agree with them. You really are hopeless."

"We're just going to have to cure him." Sirius, in what he thought was a comforting tone, said, "This is where the healing begins, mate."

"This is where the hurting begins if you guys don't mmff..." James was unable to finish his threat, as Peter had just tied a sock around his head as a makeshift gag.

"MMM, FFDDMMRR!!!" he tried to shout, but the stench of the sock, which clearly hadn't been washed recently, was starting to make him dizzy.

All of a sudden, there came a loud thud from behind them

"What is going on up here?!" the shrill voice of one Lily Evans demanded. The three Marauders looked terribly guilty, and James was wide-eyed at having been caught by said girl in such an odd and embarrassing situation. "Why is my boyfriend tied up?"

Sirius spit out the pumpkin juice he'd been drinking. Unfortunately for Peter, he'd been right in front of him, but was too shocked to notice the sticky substance he'd just been sprayed with.

"Did you just say b-boyfriend?" Remus stuttered, clearly afraid of the petite redhead's infamous temper.

"Here I am waiting in the common room for twenty minutes, thinking he's stood me up, and it's only our second date, and you idiots have him bound and gagged!"

"That's what I was trying to tell you prats!" James cried. He'd finally managed to get the sock out of his mouth, and was gasping for fresh air.

"Well don't just stand there, untie him!" she cried, her hands on her hips. Sirius scrambled for his wand and quickly undid the ropes.

"Thank Merlin," James said, massaging his wrist where the rope had been particularly tight. Lily rushed over to him, and the other three quickly backed away from the angry witch.

"You poor thing," she said, examining his wrist. "Are you gonna be okay?"

"I already feel better now that you're here," he said with a grin. She smiled sweetly at him, while behind them Sirius made a gagging motion. "You still up for that date?"

"Absolutely," she replied, taking his hand and walking downstairs to the common room.

As the other three watched them go, Sirius slung his arms around Peter and Remus. "Well boys, I think we did a great job with our little intervention here," he said with a smirk.

Remus and Peter glared at him. "Dude, you almost destroyed his relationship with the girl of his dreams!" Remus cried.

"But I didn't. And besides that, we all have our health, and isn't that what really matters?"

Suddenly, James appeared in the doorway. "If you lot ever try anything like that again, I'll kill you. Oh, and Sirius?"

"Yeah?"

"Sleep with one eye open."

* * *

Wow, I wrote this one fast, like all in one sitting. Except for the one break I took to get chocolate. Well, I'm suddenly in a very inspired mood. I think it's because I just saw the new movie last night, and it was awesome. 

Anyway, reviews are always appreciated! See ya!


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